Tween Parenting: Laying the Foundation at Preschool
Bringing up girls is a test of one’s discernment, patience and wisdom. And especially for Mummies. I think before man invented mirrors, there were Mummies and Daughters!
Nicole is now 10, and Nadine is 7. And of course the younger one is on her own journey as she grows up. Nothing is replicated in the parenting journey. She’s loving school, making new friends, exerting her rights and making decisions to define her passions and preferences.
And we have Nicole. hmm… At 10, she has an incredible talent at rolling her eyes. She is also able to make the most cynical comments over an innocent plate of spaghetti. And she is a amazingly bossy and naggy! The way she gets her younger siblings to clean up their mess, the tone she uses when they monkey around after bedtime and her very natural defensive mechanism that comes up when you least expect it!
I know this is part of growing up, and it seems normal, from all the conversations I had with fellow mummies, and books I read. At the same time, I’m also very mindful that beneath all that, there’s still a very sensitive little girl who’s just a tad bit nervous about growing up.
So you have a tween who is extremely excited when she finds a Kway Chap stall (yup, she loves it!), who watches Sofia the First with her sister, who still keeps trying to break an egg without crushing the shell, who writes little notes to describe her day and leaves them by my pillow, who enjoys doing up new hairstyles with the countless hair accessories she owns… the list goes on.
It’s such times that I know those pre-school and lower primary years were critical in building those values and character foundations. I’m learning to manage all that early teenage angst, and I’m comforted that the initial building blocks are dug well within her. Trusting God now for greater wisdom and patience as we enter this new parenting phase.
Posting one of my favourite photos of the two girls…
I really do not want to go through tween/teen parenting. Seems like a totally different ballgame altogether. I guess parents will grow with our kids and we will know how to handle certain issues when they arise. But for now, I like parenting babies. Haha
Don’t give up and continue to trust in God. I have changed so much along the way since tween and God is the one who puts things nicely together!
Everyone says the challenges get tougher and tougher as our kids grow older, and I am beginning to experience that myself too. Recently, I’ve been worrying about the day when she tells me she has a boyfriend! A little early perhaps, but nerve-wreaking to even think about!
Kids grow up SO fast. I’m not looking forward to the sturm und drang of the growing up years and spending my life collecting eyeballs off the floor. Don’t even get me started about BGR.
I’m so not looking forward to when my 6 year old looks at me and says, Mum I Love you but can you not kiss me in front of my friends? So glad to have great days at home with him now, and a reminder to be loving and gentle to him, patient especially. Thanks for sharing your tweens parenting, it really calls for a different set of parenting skills but then again, we always have our Loving Heavenly Father to look to and I suppose feeling at wits end forces us to pray even more unceasingly. AND you are right that those foundational strong ties built during preschool years are so crucial. ~ Audrey @ SAys! Happy Mums 🙂
My boy is 12 and I am also seeing him being more independent thoughts.. sarcasm. . Jokes and more. Luckily we had him close in the earlier years and built a stronger foundation … now it’s working with my girl . 🙂
My girl is 8 and the other day, she asked me if she will be allowed to go movie with her classmates. Very soon, she wouldn’t need me anymore 🙁
Shirley @ SAys! Happy Mums
Both my girls are far from being a tween. But my older one is starting nursery and pretty soon will be in preschool. We are making a list of family values to be printed and hung on the wall as artwork and a reminder of what we stand for as a family.
Awww… it’s really bittersweet watching our children grow up right in front of our eyes… May He continue to be your anchor throughout the tween and teen years – and more importantly, become your children’s personal anchors as they grow up.