Parenting – No One Ever Told Me This!!
Open Letter to All Parents with Kids Older than 9
Dear Parents: (Especially those with teenagers or adult kids and were hounding and encouraging us to have many children)
Please sit down as you read this. I’m trying to be diplomatic and fair as I write this.
I love my kids. I really really do. I am glad I have them, they are teaching me so many things, stretching my heart, encouraging me… blah blah blah..
Hey, but you didn’t tell me this bit: that I would morph into a Monster Mum when the kids enter primary school. No one mentioned that it’s not possible to go through primary school without ever losing your temper. No one mentioned before!!
You may be thinking I’m quite a Kiasu parent, or a Tiger Mum. I’m not. Really. I want my kids to have a childhood, to hang out at the mall with mummy, to watch the latest kids cartoon at the movies, to go cycling by the beach, to just have a fun weekend.
I do not wish to hound them to finish their assessment books, or to learn their spelling. I’m really not for nagging again and again about what happens when they don’t study. BUT I think it’s ok to expect the kids to at least TRY for their spelling or attempt their best for the tests. I honestly don’t think it’s acceptable to FORGET there’s a test tomorrow, or said you studied and revised for spelling but got 0/10 when tested. Why didn’t you tell me this would happen?
NO ONE told me that kids do this quite naturally. And Mum, you forgot to remind me that I did all the above!!
But of course I am surviving. (just as you did!) I found that hidden guidebook that tells us creative answers to give when hit with a tough situation. Remember how creative parents can get?
What happens if you fail your year-end exams?
- Stay back until you eventually pass those exams
- Kick you out of the school and you end up clearing the trash for life
- The Principal will call both Daddy and Mummy up for us to explain what happened
What happens if you finish school pre-maturely?
- You end up as a road sweeper
- You work in Macs for the rest of your life at $2 per hour
- You can’t read and do math and eventually get cheated off your home and finances
And the guidebook taught me how to make wonderful bombastic sweeping statements:
– You can’t find a job if you don’t pass your exams. The foreign workers are cheaper to employ
– Mummy can shout louder than the current volume I’m at and let the entire neighbourhood know what’s happening with your school work
– Your younger siblings and all the younger neighbours & friends will eventually do their PSLE while you are still stuck at Primary 1/2/3/4/5
And I also realised I’ve quite a good control of using my diaphragm to shout. I think my shouts are loud and good, with clarity and good diction too. And I can do it for long periods without needing water! Ohh and I learnt that kitchen cabinets and study room drawers make wonderful loud slam sounds!
I’m not sure why this turmoil about homework and school stress was never communicated to me. I knew about the kids being stressed. Just never knew the extent of the parents’ stress. So in this open letter, I wanna tell all the new parents or potential parents that it is true life is never the same again once the kid arrives. If you think it’s just about sleepless nights over diapers and hungry babies, please re-read this letter. Either space out the age gap between your kids or stand strong and face the battle and get it over and done within a minimum consecutive 7 years.
Don’t say no one ever told you!
Lots of love from
The Mummy Who Is Learning New Stuff No One Ever Told her About
Homework. Ugh. My least favorite thing in the world. My middle son will sit down, with ease and dedication, and finish a week’s worth of assignments in 20 minutes–no mistakes. My youngest will think of every reason in the world why HE should NOT have to do homework. He eventually will, but not without a lot of whining. My daughter. UGH! She’s 14 and homework is a massive, knock down drag out each and every day of her life. I nag, remind, yell, scream, hound, screech some more and she still won’t start it until 10pm at night, when she’s been in bed for an hour.
Okay, I’m done ranting!
yeah!! I’ve not alone!! and I love your vocab: nag, remind, yell, scream, hound, screech….
Now seriously. Don’t think you are alone in this. The mom monster syndrome gets worst when PMS is present! I can say for sure, I’ve had plenty of breakdowns especially when we start to expect that our children SHOULD be able to “know by now” what to do as they grow older. It sure boils down to expectations and yet, we err because we are human. We only want the best for/of them and know they can be at their best if only they put in that extra “effort”. The challenges ahead will be different when they are in their teens so brace yourself ah! hehe…
bracing bracing bracing!!!
Haha…There are more to yell at and more to come. There’s the journey of parenting. Every Child is different and therefore you need to have various strategies and wisdom to deal with each of them. Eventually you would see your fruits…..good fruits come from good soil…..Happy parenting and enjoy them while they are little!
Ha ha ha – I think we all go through this – I’m constantly telling my university aged daughter that she needs to keep her grades up and her scholarship or she’s going to be working at the grocery store check out the rest of her life 😉
One of the things that I never do is tell my daughter that if she doesn’t go to school she’ll end up doing some undesirable job. Every job needs someone to do it, and I don’t want her to think that just because someone’s job isn’t as well paying or glamorous as someone else’s that it makes them less of a person. I would just say “your options for a career will be limited if you don’t do well in school”.
I think it’s the third child. I’ve lost all my marbles since adding her. Oy! And school starts next week…not looking forward to the “Mom Monster’s” return…but has to be done.
Well my kids did get more responsible as they got older. Or maybe they just got better at hiding it when they slacked off on schoolwork….
Being a teacher I can see the struggles and hardships kids face with homework. While it is important I get it — kids are tired. I moly give homework that is meaningful and won’t take longer than 10 minutes for each grade. For 2nd grade is 20 or 4th would be 40 and so on.
Great letter for moms of little ones! We can all learn a thing or two from this! MOM power!!
I learn new stuff from my grandkids on a regular basis. And they are only 3 & 5 years old.